Can I Get a Day Off?

I have been scouring the blogosphere lately, reading a ton of good material, encountering people of common interest and those of differing interests alike, and I have been having a lot of fun reading.

In a recent blog post I read called Mental Health Day, Charlotte describes calling in sick for the first time in over a year to simply take a break from her stressful job.

Her blog post reminded me that, as a stay at home mom, I can’t very easily take a sick day or a mental health day from my “job”. Though, I am indeed lucky to have family and friends to call on if I really need them. Also, I am fortunate enough to have less overall stress then when I was a working mom. Now I can focus on home life and budgeting and play dates and my relationship with my kids. I didn’t have the bandwidth of brain capacity to think about and manage all those things as a working mom.

Inescapable Stress

Sometimes we need to scream

Feel the need to scream? Let it out!

Still, I certainly have home stress that feels inescapable at times. It’s the kind of stress where I have constant pressure from two wild boys who crave and need attention and love. I grasp for moments of relief as I shut the bathroom door (all the way… gasp) to get a bit of privacy, stick them in front of the t.v. so I can clean, shove them out the door to search for bugs and play in the dirt so I don’t scream in frustration, all while hoping they don’t hurt themselves. Or, worse, embarrass me by, oh, I don’t know… pooping in the front yard!?! Yeah, to my mortification, that happened the other day… oh, the things I never knew I would deal with as a parent, they are endless.

What it comes down to is everyone has stress. Everyone needs to take moments (or large clumps of moments) to focus on themselves and their mental health. I can see how moms who stay at home might find themselves feeling a bit insane at times. While most people can’t often escape stress, we can find healthy ways to cope. Thanks to one of my final projects in college, I wrote a whole stress management program. So, I should be an expert right? Ha! Not so much, but I am certainly trying.

Some Self Praise

Running For Sanity

Running For Sanity

I learned recently in a parenting class the importance of praising not only others but ourselves. Sometimes we can be so critical of ourselves, not cool! So, today I am going to pat myself on the back for doing a great job of taking time 6 days a week to strive for my fitness goals because it helps me de-stress and in turn be a better mom. Good job Vanessa 🙂

Your Turn

Rejuvenate, fill yourself up, do something just for you today. You are totally worth it!

16 thoughts on “Can I Get a Day Off?

  1. Some days it feels like I’m caught in a whirlpool,,going round and round while drowning at the same time. A lot of stress is caused by too high of expectations which leads to disappointment. Hard to lower your sights when you are a perfectionist.

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    • Susan, how’d you know I was a perfectionist? 😉 It becomes especially difficult to be a perfectionist once you become a parent… I guess parenting eventually teaches you to relax and lower expectations 🙂

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      • Eventually. I think the first kid has it the hardest. I call my daughter my first pancake child. Whenever I make pancakes the first one sucks. She had to endure all my attempts to be a perfect mom raising a perfect child. No wonder she is neurotic.

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  2. Everybody has stress. I can imagine a stay at home mom has more than most. I complain about work but I can shut my door and pretend to be on a conference call for a few minutes! You can’t. 🙂 I thought that part was very funny about shutting your bathroom door all the way! That is so true and kids often bother adults while they are in the potty! Good for you getting in that exercise. It will make you a healthier and better person and mom.

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  3. I’ve spent time home with my kids and time where I’ve worked. Neither was easier. Both were stressful in their different ways. And you’re so right–we need to give ourselves credit and take our stress relief where we can. Especially after our kids poo in the yard. 😉

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  4. Oh boy do I remember those feelings. I used to eat my breakfast in the bathroom, because it was the only door with a lock!! And I desperately needed that breathe time. Going back to work gave me people time, but in no way relieved the stress. So I took to getting up really early, and riding my motorbike, to go watch the sunrise. That worked!!

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  5. I really enjoyed this post. I too stay home with 2 rambunctious preschool girls. I actually laughed out loud at the pooping in the yard and feared I would wake my little one who is napping. 🙂 I totally understand the stress and pressures of staying home, feel lucky to have girls instead of boys!

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    • Yeah, I got some texts from friends telling me how hilarious it was that my kid pooped in the front yard… it is much funnier even one week later now that I am not in the midst of it 🙂

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    • I hear ya there! That’s when it’s helpful if you have a system of stress relief… if you exercise or meditate every day, it’s a part of your habit, you’re so used to it so you just do it anyway… easier said than done!

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  6. Hi, I’m a fellow “101 Blogger”.
    I stopped by to take a look at your site and offer feedback on the “commons” for you, but I felt compelled to leave a comment on this post as it struck a chord! One of the “joys of blogging”, that I wasn’t necessarily looking for when I started my site, was that you never know what you’re going to run into or who you’re going to meet. When I read this post I knew exactly what you were talking about: I went from experiencing the “stress” of commuting into NYC everyday for 13 years thinking life was tough, to switching roles with my wife – unplanned – and experiencing the true, 24/7 “stress” of being an at-home-dad/servant for the past few years or so!
    I will certainly never underestimate ever again what it means to be the parent-at-home! Now my youngest is about to graduate high school and go to college and I actually find myself “looking forward” to getting back to being a not-home parent and taking a well deserved rest! Good luck with everything!

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    • Thanks so much for reading and for stopping to comment! Yeah, it’s definitely not bubble baths, wine and ease all day that’s for sure 😉 Wishing you the best as you become an empty nester… enjoy that stage in life, I am sure it can be a fun one!

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      • Thanks! The only wisdom I can offer from this stage is that no matter how much you try to plan your life, the only certainty is that it’s going to turn out differently! Not bad necessarily, but just a lot different than however you think it might!

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